distractionware forums

VVVVVV => VVVVVV => Topic started by: Gawne on February 21, 2017, 01:48:18 am

Title: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 21, 2017, 01:48:18 am
Enjoy!
But I warn you, some of these are REALLY bad...

Why did Victoria and Vermilion get along so good on their first date?
She RED him like an open book!

Why is it always hard to get in touch with Terry?
He's always gone in a FLASH!

What does Verdigris cook with?
A pressure cooker!

Why do people tend to not talk to :violet:?
She's always VIOLET!

What did Captain Virdian say when he finished Verdigris's area?
That's a WRAP!

Well, that's all I have for now, who knows? Maybe I'll add more when they come to me :3
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 21, 2017, 01:58:19 am
When the crew found Vermilion's stash, he was red in the face, and Verdigris was green with envy.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on February 21, 2017, 02:10:04 am
How did Viridian obtain the Doing Things the Hard Way trinket?

He(or she don't get triggered) never stopped Pushing Onwards.


Sorry that wasn't even good for pun standards
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 21, 2017, 02:14:48 am
Lol nah that was pretty darn hilarious xD
Title: lol
Post by: shiny on February 21, 2017, 11:12:24 am
Why is it always hard to get in touch with Terry?
He's always gone in a FLASH!
You heard of email? still funny tho  :P
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 21, 2017, 01:52:52 pm
What's black and white and red all over? The Polar Dimension!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 21, 2017, 06:52:51 pm
How is the Polar Dimension red or read?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 21, 2017, 06:56:45 pm
The Spikes.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 21, 2017, 07:42:00 pm
Those are pink.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 22, 2017, 03:22:00 pm
No, they're not.  :violet:'s room in the ship is pink.
Title: the spikes are pink
Post by: shiny on February 22, 2017, 05:53:41 pm
no thats magenta
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 22, 2017, 06:52:54 pm
Magenta is the same as pink! Ved calls it pink.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 22, 2017, 10:24:51 pm
This is all just stupid pedantry.  Let's get back to the topic at hand:

Why wasn't there any water in Dimension VVVVVV?
Because it would've washed away the polar dimension!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: allison on February 23, 2017, 05:42:32 am
The SoulEye smells nice because it has potpourri
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 23, 2017, 01:57:51 pm
No, they're not.  :violet:'s room in the ship is pink.

no thats magenta

Here is a comparison between pink and magenta.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: lol...ipops2 on February 23, 2017, 02:52:07 pm
No, they're not.  :violet:'s room in the ship is pink.

no thats magenta

Here is a comparison between pink and magenta.
It's pink
Magenta is darker than pink.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 23, 2017, 03:06:17 pm
Are my colors correct?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 23, 2017, 05:51:40 pm
Colors are made up.

Also why not use .png format?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on February 23, 2017, 06:51:30 pm
Because I like Bitmaps. They can be created instantly by using New Bitmap Image.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 23, 2017, 07:41:00 pm
But they're so much larger, especially if it's just one color.  I got it down to about 2,000 bytes from 3,000,000 just by changing the format!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 23, 2017, 11:45:06 pm
And this is what happens when you try to make a post that's meant to make people smile; you get people arguing about colors and picture formats. DW, everybody!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on February 23, 2017, 11:51:35 pm
And this is what happens when you try to make a post that's meant to make people smile; you get people arguing about colors and picture formats. DW, everybody!
^^^^^^^^^^
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 24, 2017, 03:10:16 am
It's almost ironic; this thread itself has become a really bad joke.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on February 27, 2017, 02:10:32 am
I'm also a really bad joke
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 27, 2017, 03:15:39 am
Everybody on these forums are just really bad jokes, this post just enforces it...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on February 27, 2017, 03:40:27 am
Ooooooookaaaaaayy, and on that note, what's the Captain's favorite place?

Viridian City
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 27, 2017, 04:47:14 am
Hey, I never specified what TYPE of jokes, sooooo....

Why did I divide sine by tangent?


No particular reason just COS
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on February 27, 2017, 04:53:10 am
How did the world of Dark Souls II discover trigonometry?

From the Scholar of the First Sin()!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: allison on February 27, 2017, 06:20:52 am
Pfft, people only respect Hipparchus because he had a nice TAN

(we have the trifecta now)
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on February 27, 2017, 12:40:33 pm
Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Bruce Michez on February 27, 2017, 04:26:19 pm
What does an airline stewardess wear to a funeral?

A "jet" necklace!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on February 27, 2017, 08:20:28 pm
Hey guys instead of telling jokes, let's find the square root of one million...


... okay maybe that's a bit too RADICAL...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on February 28, 2017, 11:53:47 pm
why is the sea so high
because it has sea weed
please call the cops I caught it one day and it refuses to stop
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 01, 2017, 01:04:36 am
How many dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.

There's nothing special about it, no modifiers to make this funny, it's just fact.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 01, 2017, 02:06:16 am
How many dads does it take to never come back from the store
1







All around me are farmiliar faces...
...Worn out places...
...Worn out faces...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: allison on March 01, 2017, 02:16:49 am
why is the sea so high
because it has sea weed
please call the cops I caught it one day and it refuses to stop
The sea should move to California, they could use the water
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 01, 2017, 02:35:33 am
Quote
How many dads does it take to never come back from the store
1







All around me are farmiliar faces...
...Worn out places...
...Worn out faces...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4
Title: but thanks for your consideration
Post by: shiny on March 01, 2017, 04:52:47 am
why is the sea so high
because it has sea weed
please call the cops I caught it one day and it refuses to stop
The sea should move to California, they could use the water
no i think we have enough water
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on March 04, 2017, 01:51:43 am
(https://lh6.ggpht.com/fQS0Kb5VOJW6ZN0OK_hURxnK6ItraD7XIvZRlGdh3Ntt9Ve_7KIPM9a82rVmegMsk0oo=w300)
(http://www.charbase.com/images/glyph/10133)
(http://kitchen-electronics.weebly.com/uploads/2/7/1/1/27118291/6608936_orig.jpg)
(https://maxcdn.icons8.com/Share/icon/Science//equal_sign1600.png)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/00/bb/ef/00bbef180c5e26e9dc31a442f6c1c3c4.jpg)
Title: snip
Post by: shiny on March 04, 2017, 05:34:23 am
viridian
+
toaster
=
some weird pokemon??
>tfw dont understand
Title: Re: snip
Post by: allison on March 05, 2017, 01:46:38 am
>tfw dont understand
It's a visual gag
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 05, 2017, 05:24:55 pm
Get it caused Makid too lazy to check what it's actually called looks like he has toast coming out of his head, and how he kinda resembles captain Viridian...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on March 05, 2017, 05:46:54 pm
Sorry that joke was a bit Farfetch'd
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 05, 2017, 06:24:40 pm
oh, he's good
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 09, 2017, 01:42:44 pm
Why did the crab want the trinket? 'Cause it's SHINY!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 09, 2017, 02:31:06 pm
thats not even a joke

replace crab with kitten
Title: XD
Post by: shiny on March 09, 2017, 03:06:55 pm
thats not even a joke

replace crab with kitten
nice meme XD YOUR SO FUNIE xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 09, 2017, 03:08:26 pm
The crab in question is Tamatoa.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 09, 2017, 03:14:24 pm
How do you get through Veni Vidi Vici? You just try, try, try!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 09, 2017, 06:18:44 pm
a group of americans is called a big mac
Title: really funny overused joke
Post by: shiny on March 10, 2017, 12:20:14 am
a group of (insert classification of a certain type of noun, preferably a person) is called a (something related to the previous noun)
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Starspire on March 11, 2017, 10:39:17 pm
A group of Charas is called doomsday.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 12, 2017, 02:38:18 am
A group of crows is called a murder.  It was named that because it was originally believed that crows were the only cause of death; in fact, old death certificates will actually list it.  It wasn't until the four humors theory lost traction that scientists started to doubt this, as crows were thought to be one of the humors.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: fraZ0R on March 12, 2017, 05:16:42 pm
Here's a bad joke:Tainy's existence
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 12, 2017, 08:47:29 pm
Even worse joke:  Info Teddy's existence.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 12, 2017, 09:36:36 pm
A group of DW members is called a crew...
Title: alternative: this thread
Post by: shiny on March 12, 2017, 09:49:59 pm
a group of unfunny is called a 5tr4
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 14, 2017, 09:55:33 pm
Aaan I missed your 666th post, dang it!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 16, 2017, 04:30:50 pm
Riddle time!

What's big, and yellow, and has 66 eyes, and is travelling the city to meet its demise?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: lol...ipops2 on March 16, 2017, 04:36:51 pm
A 66 EYED EMOJI PLUSH OF COURSE
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 16, 2017, 04:46:58 pm
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School bus.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: lol...ipops2 on March 16, 2017, 04:49:32 pm
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School bus.
What's shitposty, spammy, doesn't make good levels, and used too many exclamation marks.
Hint: PA__OO1_34
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 16, 2017, 04:56:23 pm
Who's 60 feet tall, and 11 years old. She's fiery, feisty, and a lot to control?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Quote on March 16, 2017, 05:15:30 pm
Pattoo's fetish
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: lol...ipops2 on March 16, 2017, 05:33:42 pm
The person pattoo is in dungeons & dragons.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: pattoo1234 on March 16, 2017, 05:47:47 pm
Nope. From the movie "Gigantic".
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: fraZ0R on March 16, 2017, 08:03:43 pm
Your mom?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 16, 2017, 10:08:29 pm
that was a surprisingly good your mom joke ok then

What's big and its gooey, saucy and its chewy, what's in my mouth?

that was the best YouTube ad
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 16, 2017, 10:18:38 pm
Patto0 this isn't the place for  you"re fetisheses ...,
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 17, 2017, 12:51:30 am
*your
You added two extra spaces, too.
Title: <Insert memes and shit here>
Post by: Gawne on March 17, 2017, 03:09:26 am
What   are you talking about ?
Also  I checked Bing  it's You"re, so suck  on that...
Title: Re: <Insert memes and shit here>
Post by: lol...ipops2 on March 17, 2017, 04:23:45 pm
What   are you talking about ?
Also  I checked Bing  it's You"re, so suck  on that...
GOOGLE IS DOMINANT SEARCH ENGINE I BANISH YOU FROM THE INTERNET
Title: This hurts, please stop ;~;
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 17, 2017, 07:15:00 pm
What   are you talking about ?
Also  I checked Bing  it's You"re, so suck  on that...
>>bing
>>>>>>not duckduckgo
your whole post triggers me
Title: its useful occassionally
Post by: shiny on March 18, 2017, 12:11:55 am
GOOGLE IS DOMINANT SEARCH ENGINE I BANISH YOU FROM THE INTERNET
thats the joke
>>bing
>>>>>>not duckduckgo
your whole post triggers me
why duckduckgo is good
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 18, 2017, 01:41:18 am
Quote
triggers

You must like Triggernometry <lenny>
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 18, 2017, 01:49:55 am
Trigonometry dash is my favorite game
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 18, 2017, 01:59:46 am
I'm more a fan of Algebra Dash.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 18, 2017, 02:09:05 am
Calculus Dash it hard as fuck but man is it satisfying, you guys should seriously try it:

http://tinyurl.com/plzdontclickmethnx
Title: if you dont understand, we hate undertale here (except alexia but she's weird)
Post by: shiny on March 18, 2017, 05:00:48 am
Calculus Dash it hard as fuck but man is it satisfying, you guys should seriously try it:

http://tinyurl.com/plzdontclickmethnx
GET OUT
(okay dude but seriously I can feel the fountain of hate that is gonna wash over you so prepare yourself)
Title: I don't hate it either so I guess I'm weird too
Post by: allison on March 18, 2017, 05:05:32 am
Calculus Dash it hard as fuck but man is it satisfying, you guys should seriously try it:

http://tinyurl.com/plzdontclickmethnx
Oh my god
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 18, 2017, 01:22:13 pm
>(except alexia but she's weird)
;-;
Title: I actually have 58 hours on Undertale but I'm not into it as much anymore
Post by: Quote on March 18, 2017, 02:34:42 pm
It's fitting because Undertale is a really bad joke
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 18, 2017, 04:27:48 pm
this whole thread now triggers me
Title: I hv 25 hrs but I hate it now cuz I hate popular things. im a hipster apparently
Post by: shiny on March 18, 2017, 04:28:11 pm
It's fitting because Undertale is a really bad joke
it's fitting because undertale is really bad game
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 18, 2017, 08:39:50 pm
id like to be how I acted at the start of 2016 and yell your opinion sucks
it's like your grammar sucks except I'm 6 inside
Title: you always do this
Post by: shiny on March 18, 2017, 08:53:28 pm
id like to be how I acted at the start of 2016 and yell your opinion sucks
it's like your grammar sucks except I'm 6 inside
stop derailing the fucking thread
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 18, 2017, 08:58:21 pm
Well then why are we all flaming about Undertale?

What desert planet is famous for its bodyart?

Tattoo-ine!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 18, 2017, 11:18:09 pm
Quote
GET OUT
(okay dude but seriously I can feel the fountain of hate that is gonna wash over you so prepare yourself)

Oh I know, but if I cared I would've not posted if c:
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AlexINF on March 19, 2017, 03:32:40 pm
Quote
GET OUT
(okay dude but seriously I can feel the fountain of hate that is gonna wash over you so prepare yourself)

Oh I know, but if I cared I would've not posted it c:
No need for double post :P
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 19, 2017, 03:43:25 pm
Weird, I don't even know how that happened...
Title: you always do this too you fuck
Post by: AllyTally ♡ on March 20, 2017, 07:39:26 pm
id like to be how I acted at the start of 2016 and yell your opinion sucks
it's like your grammar sucks except I'm 6 inside
stop derailing the fucking thread
hypocrite

what do you call a __ and a ___
______
Title: BAD JOKE WARNING!
Post by: Shadeblast on March 23, 2017, 05:12:45 pm
why did i make a bad joke?
bad.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: QwertymanO07 on March 24, 2017, 01:51:15 am
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Answer (Hover to Reveal)
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Gawne on March 24, 2017, 02:18:02 am
Well played qwerty...
Title: Re: I hv 25 hrs but I hate it now cuz I hate popular things. im a hipster apparently
Post by: Starspire on March 27, 2017, 10:00:23 pm
It's fitting because Undertale is a really bad joke
it's fitting because undertale is really bad game

>im a hipster apparently

i get the backstory there, well played